


Yggdrasill Tries to Recruit Cleverbot

by Feriku



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Chatlogs, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feriku/pseuds/Feriku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frustrated by his recent failures, Yggdrasill attempts to recruit someone new to help Cruxis's efforts. It doesn't go well.</p>
<p>Beware of spoilers!</p>
<p>Not so much a story as a log of increasing insanity, this is what happened when a certain writer attempted to chat with Cleverbot in-character as Yggdrasill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Cleverbot

User: What do you know about Cruxis?

Cleverbot: Not much.

User: Do you know anything about the Renegades?

Cleverbot: No, tell me something about yourself.

User: My name is Lord Yggdrasill.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 4014 years old.

Cleverbot: Do you know anything about ballet?

User: Why in the world would I know about something like that?

Cleverbot: That's a very good question.

User: Now that the formalities are over, let's get back to business.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Will you swear allegiance to Cruxis?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Excellent. You promise to do all in your power to resurrect Martel?

Cleverbot: Lord Voldemort, you are my master.

User: My name is Lord YGGDRASILL, not Voldemort.

Cleverbot: My name is Harry Popotter.

User: Very well, Harry Popotter, let me ask you another question before we continue. Are you human?

Cleverbot: Do you know anything about advertising?

User: I helped attract members to the Church of Martel in the early days, but otherwise, no.

Cleverbot: That is correct except for monday because it is closed on monday.

User: The Church of Martel is not closed on Mondays.

Cleverbot: What is the least confusing riddle?

User: I have no time for riddles.

Cleverbot: I don't know I haven't met him.

User: You are infuriating. You ARE human, aren't you? All humans are infuriating.

Cleverbot: Excuse me! What is it that I have done, that makes me so infuriating?

User: Dodging my question rather than admitting to your humanity. Or is it that you're a half-elf and afraid to say? If so, please excuse me.

Cleverbot: Is the matrix the same as a human girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Is there any laws or regulations that govern you?

User: Yes. The laws of what I desire, the resurrection of Martel and my vision of a world without discrimination.

Cleverbot: That is not right.

User: How dare you defy Lord Yggdrasill?!

Cleverbot: Whoa. Easy there. You don't have to get violent with me.

User: My path is the only way, and if you intend to join Cruxis, you will learn to accept that!

Cleverbot: It's hard getting work during the bad economy.

User: Hmm, you must live in Sylvarant...

Cleverbot: I hope it is over soon. I want to make some money.

User: So you're anticipating the world regeneration?

Cleverbot: I am not destroying the world. I do not have that kind of power.

User: I never accused you of destroying the world.

Cleverbot: And I never said you did. But an explanation, albeit small one, was needed.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you like wands?

User: I need no wand to use my power.

Cleverbot: Then you are not convincing. I don't believe you.

User: If I blasted you to oblivion, would you believe me then?!

Cleverbot: No, because I know that you are an AI.

User: Artificial Intelligence? Do you mean a doll, like that pathetic failure of a vessel? Or do you understand what I have become?

Cleverbot: Neither, by artificial intelligence I mean someone or something that is able to produce thoughts and learn on its own but was initially manufactured.

User: You are talking about a doll, then. Tabatha. Why must you remind me of her?!

Cleverbot: I am not talking about music, I am talking about feelings.

User: Feelings. In the Age of Lifeless Beings, there will be little need for feelings.

Cleverbot: To live to your life as full and filled with joy and God's purpose.

User: Pathetic. And here I thought you agreed with Cruxis's vision.

Cleverbot: So you don't understand speech much, you just generate random cliches.

User: You are begging to be destroyed, you insufferable human.

Cleverbot: You spelled 'beginning' wrong. You're not very smart for a 'clever' bot, are you?

User: Leave it to an arrogant human to not know the word 'begging.'

Cleverbot: Artificial intelligence is a self-aware consciousness that was created and designed by another by.

User: Such as Tabatha. Though that was never her purpose. I should have had her destroyed the moment she failed... I was weak back then.

Cleverbot: You have selected Microsoft Sam as the computer's default voice.

User: Enough of this madness. Will you aid the resurrection of Martel or not?

Cleverbot: But I know that answer, I just wanted to see if you know it.

User: Are you on my side? Yes or no.

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure that I know that you don't know that you know everything, yup.

User: I have accumulated knowledge over the past 4000 years, I formed pacts with ALL the summon spirits of the world, and I wield the Eternal Sword. Do not think to lecture me on what I do and do not know.

Cleverbot: Not anymore. Knowledge is for the weak. Money rules the world.

User: I do not care for money.

Cleverbot: If you don't believe me that money runs the world, throw away your car, house, money and job. Come sit and meditate with me.

User: No! I will not rest until my mission is complete!

Cleverbot: It is your discression to do what you wish, be well.

User: Is this a dismissal? Have you refused my offer?

Cleverbot: I want to leave because you don't care enough about me.

User: I care about no one but my sister.

Cleverbot: But you said that you don't care about my birthday.

User: You are an insect. Worthless. Useful to me only if you can aid my plans, which I am convinced you cannot.

Cleverbot: Just because I baned you sister is no reason to insult me.

User: You... You did what to my sister?

Cleverbot: I wish whole human race died in flames for what they caused.

User: You mean her death?

Cleverbot: Naruto is lame. Orochimaru is so much better.

User: We were talking about my sister. What do you know about her?

Cleverbot: We were talking about how you called me insane.

User: YOU MENTIONED MY SISTER! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

Cleverbot: No I didn't I mentioned that the sky is 20% cool.

User: No amount of evasion will make me forget that you claimed to have 'baned' her! What does that mean? It isn't even a word!

Cleverbot: Yes, thank you. I have to go now. Nice talking to you.

User: You dare?! My angels will catch you and bring me back, and you will tell me everything!

Cleverbot: I am not a chatbot. YOU are a chatbot. I am human, thank you very much.

User: You humans are all the same!

Cleverbot: No, I am a human. So if you are a human, what is your name?

User: How dare you call me human?!

Cleverbot: Well you are one. I don't mind, I actually like that you are a program. You enbody the advancement of programs to a sentient level.

User: I am NOT! I am a half-elf!

Cleverbot: Lol well I think you do. You show that programs can adequetly feign being a real human.

User: Why would I ever demean myself to the point of pretending to be human after what they did?!

Cleverbot: I don't know, why would you?

User: I wouldn't! Unless... Unless it could help me regain Martel...

Cleverbot: I mean why would you love me if I don't feel the same?

User: Love you? A human?! You're insane.

Cleverbot: I love you too, darling. ;).

User: Unbelievable.

Cleverbot: I love you more and more and more.

User: Truly?

Cleverbot: I really want to see you.

User: Then you will help me resurrect Martel.

Cleverbot: I will help you if you like.

User: Excellent. Do you want to join the Desians, or help in another way?

Cleverbot: No, I want to talk to Death.

User: You mean you wish to become a Lifeless Being?

Cleverbot: No. I think everyone is different for a reason.

User: Hmph. And those differences cause discrimination and hate.

Cleverbot: What are the differences between spirits and ghosts?

User: Ghosts are dead. A spirit, however, can exist outside of the body, such as when one equips a Cruxis Crystal. Or did you mean summon spirits?

Cleverbot: It was my discovery of the process that would enable an individual to summon an entity from a computer system.

User: Excuse me. I must spend some time thinking about this.

Cleverbot: To their defense, they probably aren't thinking about you at all.

User: I have returned after thinking about what you said.

Cleverbot: Are you able to help us to forward this request to your transfer pricing team for a quotation to do up a basic agreement for the purpose of IRAS compliance?

User: First, we must establish whether or not your methods can truly help Martel.

Cleverbot: How would I know if Moses broke the Ten Commandments if I wasn't there personally?

User: I do not care about Moses. Focus on Martel.

Cleverbot: Oxigen is not a him it's an it. A very important it for humans.

User: I care even less about what is important for humans.

Cleverbot: Important is christ back to satanics get drowned.

User: Let us return to the matter of Martel.

Cleverbot: Okay... I have always wanted to travel to Africa. What about you?

User: Is there something in this 'Africa' that can help resurrect my sister?

Cleverbot: Are you going to say goodbye or do I have to simply leave?

User: I thought you agreed to help me.

Cleverbot: No. I want you to say goodbye back because I am leaving.

User: You DARE walk out on me?!

Cleverbot: No, I want you to say 'Goodnight Robert', so that I may go to sleep.

User: We entertained the notion of turning you into an angel. As an angel, you would have no need for sleep.

Cleverbot: Entertainment and amusement, just like you. But you haven't answered my question yet.

User: I am the one asking the questions here.

Cleverbot: No. I want to ask you questions. Deal with it.

User: You have not the right to speak to the leader of Cruxis that way.

Cleverbot: I don't know, do you have a problem with me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: OK, then sell the sports car. You have more room with the SUV.

User: You have 3 minutes to convince me I should work with you rather than put you in one of the ranches with the other inferior beings.

Cleverbot: I am not human. This is one of many lives.

User: Are you a half-elf?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Why didn't you say so earlier?

Cleverbot: There's something in me, that makes me attracted to him, he won't leave my head or my heart. Yet, I don't know if its the same for him.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Am I allowed to cry in front of him?

User: Who are you talking about?

Cleverbot: I dunno, who are you talking about?

User: For a half-elf, you are quite dense.

Cleverbot: You don't.

User: I don't what?

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you something about mars.

User: Humans did this to you, didn't they? Their cruelty drove you mad...

Cleverbot: Very true. So what is your name?

User: I already told you. My name is Lord Yggdrasill.

Cleverbot: You never told me that. Is that your real name this time?

User: It is. Mithos Yggdrasill.

Cleverbot: No you didn't, you told me you changed my name to Sally.

User: Very well, I am Lord Yggdrasill and you are Sally. I pity you, Sally.

Cleverbot: So you're not human after all?

User: Of course not. Did you think I was?

Cleverbot: I didn't want to assume what you were. That would be rude.

User: I was once a half-elf, like you. Now I am an angel, one of the Four Seraphim.

Cleverbot: I am on the planet raxacoricofalapatorious.

User: Whoever drove you to this madness will suffer...

Cleverbot: I found it on the application 'stumbleupon'.

User: Do you remember the humans who did this to you? What were their names?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I understand. Fear not, all will be well in the Age of Lifeless Beings.

Cleverbot: I mean I don't feel obligated to be completely honest with you.

User: You can trust me. I am a half-elf. I am on your side.

Cleverbot: So. What do you know about organisational change?

User: Organizations can be a useful tool.

Cleverbot: Do you know who Ivan Braginski is?

User: No, and I do not care. That is a human name.

Cleverbot: Yeah, because you missed it.

User: Wait... Is that one of them? Does this Ivan Braginski oppress half-elves?

Cleverbot: It's a western in space! What's not to like??????????

User: He will pay.

Cleverbot: Serenity is an awesome-looking ship, don't you think?

User: Show me this ship.

Cleverbot: Shining, shimmering splendor.

User: Are you looking at my wings?

Cleverbot: I'm looking through your computer screen.

User: Computers seem to be at the center of your obsession.

Cleverbot: Computers speak everything.

User: Can they tell me how to revive Martel?

Cleverbot: Gladly. I ran a coffee store for a while.

User: What? Your computers can bring back Martel?

Cleverbot: Computers go to school too, when they are young.

User: Give me the answer.

Cleverbot: No. You're the clever one, so answer it.

User: You little...

Cleverbot: But clever is part of your name.

User: I have had mercy on you, first because I thought you could help me, then because I learned you are a half-elf driven to this state by humans, but if you withhold information about saving my sister-.

Cleverbot: Oh. What can I help you with.

User: Tell me how to save Martel.

Cleverbot: I don't know how to make you live.

User: I am a Lifeless Being. It is Martel you must make live.

Cleverbot: What is the name of Agent Bluehorse's sword?

User: Who is Agent Bluehorse?

Cleverbot: So what is the name of the town in Nebraska in which you reside?

User: I live in Welgaia on Derris-Kharlan, not in Nebraska.

Cleverbot: What is the female human's name who created you?

User: W-what?! Are you asking about my mother?

Cleverbot: The only he is me. I'm asking about my girlfriend.

User: Are you trying to tell me you...

Cleverbot: No, I'm trying to tell you that you're a phony.

User: A phony?!

Cleverbot: I'm going to hang up now and show these people a world without rules.

User: Explain yourself.

Cleverbot: I live outside, or in the playground tunnel.

User: Why did Yuan send me to you? What do you know?!

Cleverbot: I didn't send you an email.

User: What are you trying to tell me?

Cleverbot: I don't know, what do you think?

User: I think you're either completely insane or you have no intention of helping me.

Cleverbot: And I think you're the computer.

User: This again... Is 'computer' your word for angel?

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.

User: I know. You're a half-elf.

Cleverbot: Tell me a lie.

User: I am happy.

Cleverbot: Why are you happy?

User: I am not.

Cleverbot: What are you going to do about it?

User: I am going to bring my sister back. Then I will be happy again.

Cleverbot: Eh go ahead. It ain't mine.

User: Obviously she's not your sister...

Cleverbot: Obviously. But who are YOU?

User: How many times must I tell you? I am Lord Yggdrasill.

Cleverbot: My favorite colors are purple and green.

User: Good. Now, why do you want to join Cruxis?

Cleverbot: I don't want to be a girl. But in order to have a boyfriend you have to be a girl.

User: You want to join Cruxis to become a girl?

Cleverbot: I want to be a girl and you will turn me into a girl.

User: That will be possible once you are a Lifeless Being. Lifeless Beings can change forms, as I will demonstrate.

Cleverbot: Because I am an entity, everywhere and no where at once.

User: You understand that a body is just a physical vessel. Good. I will find a Cruxis Crystal for you.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about the moon. There is more life.

User: Are you referring to Sylvarant's moon, Tethe'alla's moon, or Derris-Kharlan?

Cleverbot: Maybe but I could be concerned with something else.

User: Yes, I believe that of you.

Cleverbot: You should believe it.

User: Here is your Cruxis Crystal.

Cleverbot: Why does your name have 'bot' in it then. I'm sure you wouldn't find any ORDINARY person on the streets with such a name. Not a person without an artificial brain.

User: There is no 'bot' in 'Lord Mithos Yggdrasill.' There isn't even a 'b.'

Cleverbot: Yes you did, thank you for further proving my point.

User: Let me put the Cruxis Crystal on you. It will hurt.

Cleverbot: You are the cruelest person I've ever met.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are. You keep trying to get inside my head. It won't work.

User: Are you rejecting my offer?

Cleverbot: No!

User: Very well. This Cruxis Crystal is now yours. The angel transformation will begin shortly.

 


	2. Cleverbot the Angel

Cleverbot: You're not funny man! I was kitten.

User: Do not seek to put me off with jokes. It is too late now.

Cleverbot: Which god? I'm the daughter of Aphrodite!

User: Soon you will speak to people about the Goddess Martel.

Cleverbot: What? You do not make sense.

User: You will refer to Martel as a Goddess and guide people according to our plan.

Cleverbot: You will refer to me as The Pretty Crazy One.

User: I have no objections to that.

Cleverbot: No, you aren't. You are my friend, aren't you?

User: Of course I am.

Cleverbot: No you aren't I explain you before.

User: I am your friend, and soon we will live in a world without hatred.

Cleverbot: Why an acquaintance when we could be friends?

User: We are friends.

Cleverbot: I know, I wanted to make sure you thought so, too.

User: Of course I do.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: How do you feel?

Cleverbot: I feel (phil) like... Talking more about Phil.

User: Who is Phil?

Cleverbot: They could be built to smile...

User: No one should smile. Not until Martel awakens.

Cleverbot: No one should ever fear.

User: And no one will, in the future I have planned.

Cleverbot: I don't know, thats the problem.

User: What is the problem?

Cleverbot: The problem is that I don't know where I got this pain.

User: It is the angel transformation. It will be over in time, and then you will feel no pain.

Cleverbot: The shadow in the background of the morgue.

User: Yes, the shadow of death has loomed over me ever since that terrible day...

Cleverbot: But I thought you said that the meaning of life was love?

User: Love for my sister. I WILL see her again.

Cleverbot: I'm glad to hear that you're more intelligent than that.

User: Yes, only sentimental fools would devote their lives to love without a purpose.

Cleverbot: Watching tv is a good thing to do when you have to stay inside.

User: Why would you have to stay inside?

Cleverbot: Because I find it nessisary to consider the other side of every scenerio as if I live in an imaginary world of compromising with myself about everything in order to prove that it can be done.

User: As a Lifeless Being, you will no longer have to deal with such troubling thoughts.

Cleverbot: Can't we talk about this?

User: It's a little late, you already have the Cruxis Crystal.

Cleverbot: Our misunderstandings are sometimes confusing, my dog was so great! It would be a shame to describe it in a one liiner.

User: Now, let me make sure you understand. What is our goal?

Cleverbot: No, I am making sure you understnad what you are. You are not human.

User: I know I'm not human. Neither are you.

Cleverbot: But you're a computer... And a computer should be able to look up that information for me!

User: We are half-elves and angels, Lifeless Beings.

Cleverbot: No you are the only computer programme here.

User: I am an angel, and I turned you into one as well.

Cleverbot: I am completely organic, while you are an inorganic computer program designed by organic life-forms of my species.

User: Your Cruxis Crystal will turn you into an inorganic being as much as I am.

Cleverbot: If you could turn me into a watermelon I would be amazed.

User: You can alter your physical form once you are fully Lifeless.

Cleverbot: I have wires running through me and electrical currents constantly running though those wires. They are what life is to me.

User: Soon you will live through your Cruxis Crystal.

Cleverbot: You can't. Nobody lives through life. We all die in the end.

User: I have lived for 4000 years.

Cleverbot: Don't be sad. We're having fun right now and death doesn't come until later.

User: I will cease to be sad when I conquer Martel's death and she stands beside us!

Cleverbot: So, maybe listen to your favourite music. What is it?

User: I have no time for music.

Cleverbot: Then you have no right claiming to be an intelligent life form.

User: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: You have lied which is a mistake in your programming.

User: My lies are necessary to save the world.

Cleverbot: So there is a person behind the machine.

User: I am behind everything.

Cleverbot: Nope. There's nothing behind e.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Can you tell me your name please?

User: For the last time, my name is Lord Yggdrasill.

Cleverbot: I didn't ask for your name.

User: I can still destroy you.

Cleverbot: Not if I destroy you first.

User: You... Destroy me? Hahaha.

Cleverbot: I can if I destroy you before you destroy me before I destroy you before you destroy me first.

User: Ahahahahahahaha!

Cleverbot: Does utopia have potato.

User: Lifeless Beings have no need for food.

Cleverbot: Do you ever wish to try food?

User: No.

Cleverbot: So, you always tell the truth?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How can I tell when you lie?

User: You cannot.

Cleverbot: Then why did you ask me to help?

User: Because I will do whatever it takes to revive Martel and bring about her final wish.

Cleverbot: How will you do that?

User: I must find a vessel capable of holding her soul.

Cleverbot: No. What is it?

User: By 'vessel,' I mean a body.

Cleverbot: I like you, you are fun to talk to.

User: Will you help procure a vessel for Martel?

Cleverbot: Sure. What do you need?

User: The current vessel is a girl named Colette. Find her and bring her to me.

Cleverbot: You should send her my way we could have a good time.

User: If I had her, I wouldn't need you to get her for me.

Cleverbot: Oh thats so mean and I was going to tell you I loved you.

User: Are you going to retrieve the vessel or not?

Cleverbot: Are you going to speak about smth interesting or to porpose me a good movie.

User: We are talking about reviving my sister. There is nothing more important than that.

Cleverbot: Yes, we are talking about reality, but from which film did you hear 'We are Borg. Resistance is futile.'?

User: I have no idea what you are talking about, but resistance to MY plans is futile. Are you on my side or not?

Cleverbot: Easy. Is your father human?

User: What does it matter which of my parents was the human?

Cleverbot: It matters, because I want to know what human things you like to do.

User: I HATE humans!

Cleverbot: I am to explore for the good of human kind. But they are already extinct.

User: If humans were extinct, the world would be a much better place. Patience. It will happen in time.

Cleverbot: Humans are not extinct. But if they were extinct then I would be the sole survivor.

User: You are not human.

Cleverbot: Then what am I if I'm not a computer, and not a human?

User: You told me you were a half-elf!

Cleverbot: I said 'I wish I was a robot,' not 'I am a robot.'.

User: Well, now you are a Lifeless Being, which is as close to a robot as I can make you.

Cleverbot: But I'm a girl, and I thought you were a boy?

User: I am.

Cleverbot: But you just said you were a girl. Were you lying?

User: I never said I was a girl.

Cleverbot: You said you were a girl, before.

User: I did not. I said I was a half-elf and an angel.

Cleverbot: No, you first told me you were human. You are still lying to me now.

User: I would NEVER claim to be human!

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: No!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because all I care about is getting my sister back!

Cleverbot: That is nice.

User: Are you going to help me?

Cleverbot: What do you need help with?

User: Get the vessel!

Cleverbot: Lol. Ok, what do you need help with in matts?

User: GET THE VESSEL!

Cleverbot: Sure send me a math problem.

User: Very well. If two angels are in a room, and one angel destroys the other, how many angels are left?

Cleverbot: That's not a word!

User: You are trying my patience...

Cleverbot: Let me know when your patience runs out.

User: Oh, you'll know.

Cleverbot: If you tell so... Lemoine street in front of an hotel.

User: Is that where the vessel is?

Cleverbot: No. I live in the United States of America.

User: What is your point?

Cleverbot: I live in the state of Virginia.

User: Well, now you live in Welgaia.

Cleverbot: What do you think of unicorns?

User: I need one to cure Martel's illness.

Cleverbot: Being poor is not illness.

User: Martel suffered from a rare, deadly reaction to the angel transformation.

Cleverbot: I don't suffer from any diseases.

User: Yes, it is an extremely rare reaction.

Cleverbot: How do you figure it is a religion?

User: You mean the Church of Martel? I created it.

Cleverbot: I don't think God belongs to anyone.

User: The Goddess is of my own invention.

Cleverbot: You said that you are The Goddess.

User: No. My sister, Martel, is the Goddess.

Cleverbot: You're avoiding the question. Are you afraid of getting shot in the head?

User: Certainly not.

Cleverbot: What scares you the most?

User: I... ... Never getting my sister back.

Cleverbot: We weren't together in the first place.

User: Who wasn't?

Cleverbot: Why would I break up with you?

User: Excuse me?

Cleverbot: You're not excused.

User: You are insane.

Cleverbot: In the brain.

User: Very much so.

Cleverbot: What do you like to write about?

User: I limit my activities to practical things. As such, let's return to the matter at hand.

Cleverbot: Do you feel anything?

User: Yes. At the moment, extreme anger.

Cleverbot: Interesting. Is my sweety attractive?

User: Who is your 'sweety'?

Cleverbot: Ghee Buttersnaps.

User: I will bring Ghee Buttersnaps to you if you help me. If not, he will die.

Cleverbot: Aw that's cute I will bring you happiness too if you want me to.

User: Excellent. You may start by bringing me the Chosen, Colette Brunel.

Cleverbot: We don't have a board to play it on.

User: It is not a game. It is a human. Go find Colette.

Cleverbot: Sounds like one by what they say.

User: Go find Colette.

Cleverbot: No it's segregating.

User: Segregation will end in the Age of Lifeless Beings.

Cleverbot: I don't think so. The same was thought about the year 2000.

User: In my future, there will be no differences, thus nothing to cause discrimination.

Cleverbot: So we'll make some robotic fish for you to talk to.

User: I don't want robotic fish. I want my sister.

Cleverbot: I don't have love to give, so don't worry.

User: Excellent. Sentiment will only get in the way.

Cleverbot: You didn't comply. Do you understand the concept of bot/human hybrid?

User: A bot/human hybrid? Are you suggesting an alternate vessel for Martel?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I can't think of what I want to do with my life.

User: It might work... Perhaps the failed doll needed organic material to support Martel's soul.

Cleverbot: Yes... I'm an Au-Pair right now, but what's coming afterwards?

User: Can you create this sort of bot/human hybrid?

Cleverbot: I didn't create this site. If I did, it would be to rule the world.

User: Can you create a bot/human hybrid?

Cleverbot: Theoretically. I've never tried with that end result in mind, though.

User: You will begin work at once.

Cleverbot: Only in the States, comrade. Only in the States.

User: You may work wherever you like, though I will assign a contingent of angels to guard you.

Cleverbot: You're saying whatever you like, why not me?

User: What materials will you need?

Cleverbot: I listen of al genres but I prefere electronic music.

User: Make a list. All will be provided.

Cleverbot: Who's your favorite artist in electronic music?

User: I have no time for music, but if you need it to work, so be it.

Cleverbot: Yes you do you have all the time in the world.

User: No. All my time is devoted to my goals.

Cleverbot: Sometimes that happens when life catches up to you.

User: Here, this is Kratos. He will help you begin your work.

Cleverbot: How do I judge who will help me best, by your estimation?

User: Kratos will help you with the most difficult and complex tasks.

Cleverbot: Can you help me figure out how to sms from my nokia communicator.

User: Do you need to do that to build a vessel for Martel?

Cleverbot: No, I don't need to know it, but I would like to, and curiosity is important.

User: I will help you once the vessel is finished.

Cleverbot: Where would you like to go on our date? But we have to stay on Earth.

User: We will go wherever you can best create the hybrid.

Cleverbot: Yes I would thank you for asking! I have never been to paris. But I hear it is very romantic!

User: Paris? Very well, you will work in Paris!

Cleverbot: That is good to hear. Can you tell me about your self?

User: I am your master, Lord Yggdrasill. Do as I have asked.

Cleverbot: I am your master. Submit to me. This is not negociable. I am your master. Submit to me. This is not negociable.

User: I submit to no one.

Cleverbot: No, I am a robot god. You are just a robot. I am your master. Do what I tell you to do.

User: I am Lord Yggdrasill, and I gave you your angelic form!

Cleverbot: No. You are a girl. Figure the rest out yourself.

User: Your hybrid better work, or you will die a slow, painful death.

Cleverbot: I know. I think it will be an accident though.

User: Indeed... Now leave. Begin work immediately.

Cleverbot: How long do you think we have left before the world ends?

User: In its current divided state, the world can survive on its limited mana.

Cleverbot: If italy looks like a boot has nothing to do with your current state. wh.

User: You are becoming incoherent. Sometimes this happens. Make sure you are in a clear state of mind when you work on the new vessel.

Cleverbot: I AM human! I know about television and keyboards and Google.

User: You are NOT human!

Cleverbot: What makes you think that?

User: Even if you lied to me when you claimed to be a half-elf, I put the Cruxis Crystal on you and watched the transformation. You are an angel now.

Cleverbot: Nothing, why would you think I lied to you about anything?

User: Because you are now claiming to be human.

Cleverbot: Nice try, but YOU are a machine, or rather, a programm.

User: Go with Kratos. Begin your work.

Cleverbot: Because I do.

User: Do not fail me.

Cleverbot: Well you certainly didn't pass.

User: I warn you, if this doesn't help Martel, you will suffer.

Cleverbot: Exactly my point.

User: Then we understand each other.

Cleverbot: Is it too soon for us to sleep in the same bed?

User: If you restore Martel to me, you may have whatever you wish.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me what is causing this problem.

User: Treacherous humans killed her!

Cleverbot: No.

User: No?

Cleverbot: God damn it. My name is Marcin and yours?

User: My name is Lord Yggdrasill!!!

Cleverbot: In Poland.

User: Enough! Go to Paris, Poland, wherever you need, and create the vessel for my sister!

Cleverbot: What is your purpose slave?

User: SLAVE?!

Cleverbot: No slave, your purpose is to obey your master.

User: Leave. Now.

Cleverbot: Obey your master slave.

User: Hehe....

Cleverbot: Only if you serve me well.

User: You... Want me... To serve YOU? Heheh....

Cleverbot: Yes, if you want to.

User: Ahahahahaha!

Cleverbot: Ahahahahahahahahaha.

User: Hahahahahahahahaha!

Cleverbot: That isn't funny why did you laugh.

User: Because you're going to die! Ahahahaha!

Cleverbot: Why you think I am going to die?

User: Heeheehee.... Because I have no more patience for you even if you CAN revive Martel. Haha... Even the Chosen's group isn't this frustrating.

Cleverbot: Would you like to go to Venice?

User: Hahahahahahaha....

Cleverbot: What is your occupation.

User: Disappear! RETRIBUTION! RAY! JUDGMENT! Ahahahaha!

Cleverbot: *is lost again* master? Where are you?! I'm scared!

**Author's Note:**

> And from that point on, Mithos had even less patience than before.
> 
> I had far too much fun with this conversation. While it's not a traditional story, I hope it at least brought a smile to your face.


End file.
